A book launch junkie’s list of ten real-life “ouches” and “ahs”

• The author decides it is a good idea to have a few drinks before his launch and gets into a fist-fight with the bookseller.

• She refuses to attend her own book launch unless the publisher pays her to read.

• The publisher detests book launches and hides amidst the book stacks in the back of the store, alarming some of the guests.

• The first-time author believes if you build it they will come, and against all advice reserves the auditorium at the local library, which seats 250 people; 9 people (including his editor and the bookseller) show up. 

•The bookseller thinks the author is buying the wine and vice versa so a youthful employee rushes off to a local liquor store. Only thing worse than a too-long reading is a too-long reading followed by “porch-climber” vino.

• No one is assigned to pick up this elder statesman/author from his hotel to bring him to his book launch. He cannot secure a cab because there is a freak snowstorm. He walks the nine blocks to his launch in his dress shoes.

• The author launches her book at a huge family reunion / town homecoming. News spreads like wildfire.

• This launch is at a seniors’ home. Staff and residents are so delighted to host the event that apparently every available soul has turned out. Two male residents even “play the spoons” for additional entertainment. The author (who lives at the home) warmly greets and chats with each and every attendee. The bookseller keeps running back to his store to get more books and sells more than 300!

This long-time independent bookseller reads every book launched in his store; his introductions offer superb background to the writer and the genre.

I have read his books, lived in their worlds, marveled at the language—“never simply beautiful for its own sake but exists in the service of the story he is telling” (says one reviewer)—language so lovely that I must read passages over and over for the sheer job they bring. He is finally here. I gather my books and sit in the dark theatre as he reads passages I know so well. He signs my copies. I am in heaven.

© 2012 Kingsley Publishing Services